Sunday, April 09, 2006

This Day in Mystory

The word of the day is: Poof
Pronunciation: 'püf, 'puf
Function: interjection (for other uses see: 'poof' noun; 'poof' slang)
A sudden or instantaneous event or occurrence.
It's important to realize this is also My last name minus R. R has the numerological value of nine Proof - 9 = 25 which equals 7: Zain, the chariot, the sword, Gemini - Take away my R and you unleash something.

What you need to see is these parallel's, these repetitions of history these odd/ironic coincidences are not to try and prove astrology is in anyway accurate. What you need to knows there's as much coincidence in my losing friends as there is my being broke.

The great fade out; I'm sleeping on an air mattress, or giant bean bag or not sleeping at all. I've been to the desert and back and It's over, I just have to remember that. Note2Self:no more short brunettes. There's nothing in here, no boxes, no furniture, no TV yet. Laptop and a will to live. A little black 5 dollar phone, a friend that will soon leave life and memory gave me. This isn't about 'Smallville', we left on good terms with each other. It's about the little brunette. But it's really not; this was about moving 3000 miles way with nothing but the skin on my back. And I've still got just that.

Today, and I mean that very literally, Genesis machine or not; everything changed all the designs went out the window, the boxing theme - gone. We have to have an emergency meeting in the morning, tomorrow and I mean tomorrow in the literal, linear, linnet that bolts forward like a shifting lightning bolt of feathers sort of way. My set design all gets flushed, another memory forgone. faded out. fucked off. There's a ten in the morning, apparently, that's when the meeting is - we'll sit and talk and brain storm.

The Last of the Best Friends; We sit and talk and brainstorm, over the phone; for months now, then poof it's over. This is news to me, some much time we've been laughing, creating, building an empire, world, solar system - a comic book universe. Then Poof. 16 years of friendship, gone. It's not astrology. There's no merit in these events. It's passive aggressive, narcissism. I never knew he thought I held the power, he never knew I didn't think I held any. I keep forgetting he always looked up to me. I thought by know we were equals. We never, will, have been. Genesis machine or not. He's just poof. She's just poof.

I've been eating chocolate chip pancakes.
Box of generic pancake mix $2
Bag of store brand chips (on sale) $1.50
add two scoops pancake mix, to 1.5 scoops water,
mix well, roughly 20 strokes.
Add a handful of chips.
drop batter on hot skillet
makes roughly 3 medium sized pancakes.
You can make something like a hundred pancakes for a 2 dollar box.
This meal costs maybe .50

I don't have chocolate syrup, or butter, or whipped cream. That's be great but, that costs money. You get used to denying yourself things. You have to, because otherwise your money poof.

I'm writing the synopsis for poof, no 'Gone', the novel. My Novel. I'm talking to Kris about teaching in Japan. Wouldn't that be an ironic twist. Suddenly and unknowingly, I disappear, take two duffel bags, board a plane and poof.

What you need to see is some days friends are chocolate chip pancakes, warm, sweet and some days you stare at an empty plate and wonder where they went ...

Stay Strong,