Romanticism of the Struggling Artist

Hey Folks,

There's this notion.

I don't know if this is world wide, or if it's an American thing, or even if it's just a Hollywood that's been highly ingrained in society.

It's the whole Romanticism of the Struggling Artist.

I'm over it.

And further more I don't think it's necessary.

Now maybe the fact that, I've basically been the epitamy of the struggling artist for the last 20 years makes me a hypocrite - or an expert. I don't know.

But there's the thing, does suffering make you a better artist, or just a depressed artist?

I've easily done just as much good quality work when I was happy and motivated as when I was starving and depressed. Hell Maybe I've done even more because I don't have to friggen stress about how I'm going to pay my rent.

Do you really care if you're artists have struggled? If they've forgone medical exams in lieu of breakfast cereal? If they've had their heart broken and live a life of solitude? if they've stuck there head in the oven more often then a turkey pot pie?

You wouldn't want to spend an extended amount of time with such a person...

So why does this validate them more then the person who just loves what they do and makes a living doing it?

I think there's some cross over with the feeling that people are 'selling out'.

Our artists can't be so successful that all the world loves them, or they're no longer "our artist" - so clearly if everyone likes them, they've sold out.

Tell me you would give your left nut for some big corporation to say "We like what you do, we want to give you 20,000 dollars".

Can we stop judging people on ancillary actions, and just judge them for their vision and skill?

Can we cheer people on for their success and not belittle them for doing what we haven't?

Does it even matter after you've paid your dues for 20 years, to try and change people's minds now?

Stay Strong,

-SamProof

Get Ready to Get Gone.

Hey Folks,

This is my novel. This is Gone.

I've been talking about it here and there for 3 years now. And in the meantime it's been sitting there gathering dust.

I grew up in a time before the complete internet saturation that we have now. In my youth people had dreams like being a Blockbuster celebrity, a Super Model, a Best Selling Author. Something that the globe would respect.

I've always held to the dream that I would be a Steven King, Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams. That I would have a shelf in Borders and Barns & Nobels right next to Annie Proulx or whatever smaller flavor of the month has snuck on to the spot.

So when POD and Self Publishing options became readily available on the internet I shunned them (a lot).

As the internet has taken over the idea of Niche Celebrity has become prominent.

And I'm sitting here wondering what's worse? Not seeing my childhood dream taken to completion, or having my book not even be read by a single person.

I think the fear one might have of the former, is that this is their only shot.
That if they put it out there and it's not instantly a giant success, then they've failed.

I know that 'Gone' will not be the end of my attempts, will not be the last book I write or put out there. So if it fails, if it doesn't become an over night sensation, I'll live through it.

So What Happens Now?

Now, I put it out there.

I'm giving myself one month to get my shit together. To research the different POD companies, the Self publishers, send query letters out to small publishers, literary agents, anyone... and then I make a choice and go forward with publishing Gone .

As my friends

I ask that you hold me to it.

We all know I'm as ADD as the next guy and tomorrow something shiny will distract me.

But this is the biggest dream I have, get my book on the shelves, and this is the first step.

• So ask me how things are going.
• Tweet me links to POD sites
• Post blogs about my efforts
• encourage me, cheer me on, be a part of this journey with me.
• tell me what you want to see while I'm doing this

Just writing this, I get that shiver in my spine and a pulse in my eyes.

I know this is what I must do, I know the outcome I want.
It's just finding the path to that place that I'm lost on.
So Now I'm going as far in to the woods as I can, because that's the only way to find your way out.

Stay Strong,

-SamProof

My 3 Goals for 2010

Hey Folks,

A while back I was tagged by my favorite Dane @JulieOfSuburbia To do my top ten list of things I wanted to do in 2010.

Click the pic for the list

It's only 3 months in and I'm re evaluating the list. A lot of the things have been nipped and tucked. Some of the names have changed to protect the innocent and interestingly enough something haven't changed at all.

For starters #1 - Produce my 8 episode web series Hat Trick (this link does nothing yet)

I'm not going to go over the whole list and it's nips and tucks.

I'm narrowing my focus to 3 things

Not that I don't plan to do the other things. But sometimes You need to tell yourself to focus

From now on, beyond all the Fiestamovement stuff I do and talk about - my main goals are this:

1) Expand on Video Fight Club
2) Produce the Webseries Hat Trick
3) Publish my Novel 'Gone'

I've rallied against POD/Self Publishing in the past, and now I'm going to throw everything I've said out the window and see if I can make it work.

I'll be exploring companies with a new eye, picking one very soon and publishing my book.

I plan to also provide a version to download to Kindle, etc.

I hope as my friends and followers you'll take a chance on my novel - I've had some amazing feedback on it already. But you're the ones that are going to help me make the jump from Self Publish to National Distribution on Bookstore shelves.

I made this video way too long ago, and lost my momentum. I'm back baby!



Stay Strong,

-SamProof

My Eyes Are Opened

Hey Folks,

I really hope this doesn't come off pompous, but I've suddenly become very aware of my own potential.

You know all those High School reports that said you weren't living up to your potential? I always thought those were BS lies, something they had to say. Like a father has to tell his daughter she's a beautiful princess, or tell his son he could be president.

It's all just a habitual lie we've learned to tell.

And not to doubt my own abilities, I've always know I had my own one man creative abilities. I've always had a "if you want something done right you've got to do it yourself" kind of attitude, which is why I've learned to do just about everything.

But now, with a focus (and let's not lie, a decent budget and the Ford name) behind me - I've come to see just how many things I could have been doing.

I think I want to create myself a new title 'Social Media Cross Promotion King' (still not pompous, right? sweet.)

I'd go in to details about this, but until I have things completed I'm going to fall back on my superstition of not jinxing things and keep quiet on the details.

But oh man - cool things are coming!

Stay Strong,

-SamProof

Something Amazing Happened to me on the Way to the Forum...

Hey Folks,

This is a story about dichotomy, cosmic balance and the old axiom "You can't be truly happy without having suffered" - well maybe. Mostly this is a blog, that I hope doesn't make you too jealous. :D

So yesterday was suck.

I dragged on through unmotivated to do much of anything.
I tried to treat myself to Sushi, tried to make myself feel "up" but it just wasn't in the cards.

I tried editing videos, tried blogging, tried organizing some photo shoots (which I actually did get accomplished). And then in the wee hours of the night, a few fingers of whiskey and the haze of depression looming I tried to do something instantly creative and gratifying, I took self portraits.

Then I watched LOST one Hulu and went to sleep. Somewhere in the middle of the night my phone, drained of it's battery - shut off. My alarm clock now docile I slept in, I slept till about 1pm at which point in my half awake haze I looked on to my facebook and twitter confounded.

Tons of tweets congratulating myself and @JenFriel and so on... except that last one (technically top one). I just included that because the implication of Pearl in this bikini - too hot.

I immediately found my dead phone and plugged it in, opened gmail and sat in wonder as an email from Ford was congratulating me.

Then I freaked out.

I Pumped my fist in the air, I yelled Attah!, I moshed around the apartment (which was particularly hard because I was still putting clothes on).

Then I texted Jen, called the Ford guy, emailed him, and lost my mind.

I can't help but think some giant door has opened, some weight has been lifted, some unexplained cosmic alignment has found it's way in to my 9th house of.. whatever it is...

Last year was the worst year of my life, and I've been determined to make 2010 the best year of my life to counter it. - This helps, alot.

I want to do something amazing this year not just on a personal level - put on an entertainment level. If it's not publish my novel it's going to me something video oriented. And it's probably going to come out of this.

So the main question that's on my mind is... Jen Friel (Queen of Nerds) & I are now a team so what the hell do you name such a team of awesomeness? Suggestions?

Stay Strong,

-SamProof

PS - nobody tell my Camry about this... she's old and fragile

Photography

Hey Folks,

So a long long time ago I took pictures. I studied photography, I analyzed composition, I went to school for it.

My teacher within a few months turned to me and said, "Sam, you use the dark room continue to produce work regularly and you're guaranteed an A". I never did a homework assignment, never paid much attention to classes (hell my memory of even going to classes is limited to that first day in class. but maybe I went, probably not).

In honest having free reign like that, was both awesome and limiting. I peaked before I understood what I wanted from the medium.

These days, I'm lucky if I do one major photo shoot a year. I live for those moments.
You organize this event, bring on a hair stylist, a make up artist, maybe a wardrobe girl... you find models, locations, buy props, sketch a thousand little thumbnails, set up lights, peak in to the dressing room a hundred times, watch the hair sculpting process and then finally make magic happen. You turn the girl next door in to something she never believe was in herself.

I want to start doing photo shoots again. I'm dedicating my Fridays right now to shooting (until the day I have to get a day job again, which could be closing in fast).

I want to fill this portfolio with a million images.

Stay Strong,

-SamProof

Moving On.

Hey Folks,

So today is a momentous occasion.
It's my last day at 'Girls Next Door'.
That is to say my work on this season is finished and my contract is over. I haven't been let go, I haven't stormed off quitting. This is just the life of a job in Hollywood. Especially reality TV.

It's rare to get a solid job, everyone's a free lance contract worker.

So what's next?

Nothing, Nada, Goose Egg, Bubkiss.

I have nothing lined up. I'm not bouncing off to some other job and I have to tell you, I love it. I'm not even planning on looking for a new job until 2009.

If you think not having a job means I won't be working you're dead wrong.

So what do I have lined up while I'm unemployed?

• Blogging - Oh hell yea I'm gonna get crazy with the chez whiz
• 15x - More Comic Strips
• Videos - This is all pretty standard fare right?
• Photoshoots - yea it's been forever. But I'm picking up the camera again.
  
• Nanowrimo - yep come Nov 1st I'm writing the most sarcastic vampire novel possible, and hopefully ever in existence
• Producing & Directing a Documentary

Wait what?
Yea that's right you heard me. I've been contemplating doing a feature length project since my earliest days making videos on youtube. The minute I understood I could do everything (write, direct, edit) I knew I could do a feature.

I'm meeting this Sunday with an amazing artist to talk to him about documenting his life and his work and we'll see how it goes. He seems excited. I'm Excited.

My Main goal right now is to create a trailer by New years and then use that to attract a financier.

So that's what's up, more to come soon.


Stay Strong,
-SamProof