Whatever

Hey Folks,

So the year is almost up.

Dinosaur jr. : whatever's cool with me : I've been away...

I've been in a really weird place lately. Crazy sleeping patterns have me grumpy and feeling old, and so this isn't going to be the normal chipper, wacky, goofy, funny me you'd expect.

And who knows maybe I'll be serious from here on out. probably not. This will probably blow over

I've never regretted things much, but lately I find myself doing just that. Pondering on my life and wondering, if I shouldn't have stayed in PA. Wondering if I should have tried harder with this ec girlfriend or that one, wondering if maybe I'm being silly committing to an oath I made myself at 20 to keep my dreadlocks forever.

I don't even know what I look like with out them. Hell i could chop em off and grow them back if it's a mistake... right?

I can't take it back today...

Anyway so that's where my mind is. I feel super ADHD lately, as well. I can barely focus on putting on pants.

Pegboy : dangermare : Last song I ever write, Last song I sing tonight, I'm sick of caring...

Don't take this as some kind of depression post. I'm actually here in great spirits writing this. even though I'm grumpy and frustrated.

The thing is, I think I just need to indulge this mood for a bit. put it out there, to get it out of me.

I've noticed of late that I seem to hold things in more then ever. I'm very reclusive an safe in my protective bubble of habits and routines. I'd make some bold ass statement like once a week I'm challenging myself to do something I wouldn't normally do but you know what? fuck that.

Udora : fade away : I'm crumbling as something I don't wanna be

I'll do what I want, maybe trying new things here and there. But the reason we have a protective bubble is to have a place to feel safe and relax.

Thing is, I don't really ever relax. So what's that say?

Anyway - that's enough rambling for me today

Stay Strong,

-SamProof


Band : Song : lyrics